This is Fast Bro speaking, i hijacked my younger brother’s phone to tell the story how he got into racing. He cant tell himself cause he doesn’t know how to type these messages as he’s shortsighted (and also hard of hearing).
Slo Bro never intended to buy racecars. in fact at the time he bought the cars in auction, he thought he had bought the recipe for one black and one white Willy Wonka’s chocolate bar.
When confronted with his purchase, Slo Bro uttered “This can not be the black and the white Formula Wonka, the auctionneer must have written down the wrong numbers”.
Stuck with two racecars Slo Bro decided to get drivers as he himself is shortsighted and hard of hearing.
Progress was the main attribute Slo Bro was looking for in his drivers. Luckily, Slo Bro is hard of hearing, he didnt always hear the cars crashing into various objects. The first few runs ended in crashes with bits flying all over the track. But progress was made, mainly because the drivers started using a cane for sensing the track ahead, beeing short sighted Slo Bro never noticed this extra feature on the cars.
When recruiting his chief designer and technical director, Slo Bro looked for “someone who feels what the car should be like”. Both current staff members fitted that bill perfectly. Both the chief designer and technical director have been seen with a guide dog.
When confronted with the rumour both his drivers use a white cane to walk, Slo Bro answered “I don’t mind at all, everyone should be able to walk a white dog if they want to. In fact, both my chief designer and technical director own a dog called Guy. They even bring them to work, you know.”
The car livery is inspired by the Belgian flag. I might have said Slo Bro is hard of hearing, well he’s also shortsighted, a testimony of this is the current livery. Not only did Slo Bro put the colours in the wrong order to get a Belgian flag, he also forgot to put the sponsors on there. He never heard them complain though (by now you might know why he never heard them).
The team name is something i (Fast Bro) came up with, it refers to the drivers flying around the track (the flying blind) or the drivers bumping into everything (as they are flying blind). When Slo Bro heard the name i came up with, he said “great idea, i love that Nirvana album to bits”.
It also refers to last seasons car development, when Slo Bro, by mistake, put negative design points on downforce. This led to both cars experiencing upforce, launching them in the air every now and then. Although this did contribute to a better tyre economy, it also meant both cars ended up outside the racing track fences at Brazil and Belgium.
Slo Bro prefers a “cool” car which is why he spends all his design points on cooling. As i (Fast Bro) always tell my brother liability is very important in business, his second priority seems to be reliability, remember Slo Bro is shortsighted and hard of hearing.
Getting points seemed to be a bit of a challenge at first. Eventually, Slo Bro scored his first points in a championship, this was at a rainy Belgian GP. Wearing a thick layer of protective clothing, both drivers didnt notice it was raining. They ran what they thought was a normal race. In dry conditions they would’ve come in second to last and last (once again) but in these wet conditions they set a blistering pace.
From there on, things went downhill, Slo Bro blames his querty calculator (his fingers beeing azerty-orientated) for continuous flawed fuel calculations. Also, Slo Bro tends to send both cars to the pitlane in the same lap, creating his own pitblocks.
Furthermore he seems to instruct his drivers on push levels in a way they underheat or overcook the tyres, which usually leads to them missing DRS range by the smallest of margins.
I will edit this post once and again, whenever Slo Bro doesn’t notice i have his phone.
