NKB NEWS REPORT
Operacion Fangio!
After 23 hours of captivity, Juan Manuel Fangio has been deposited at the Argentine embassy in Malaysia; his captors remain at-large!
In his own words:
“Well, this is one more adventure. I was taken to three separate houses in all. At first, I was allowed to listen to the race via the radio. They began telling me of their revolutionary objectives, I told them I did not wish to speak about political interests, the entire concept is silly to me. I think this stirred a sympathy from them.
At the last house, they afforded me a bedroom and a TV to watch the end of the race. I considered escape many times but there was an armed guard outside the door constantly.
When they felt their message was heard, they brought me back to the embassy. I was not harmed the entire time. If what the rebels did was in good cause, then I, as an Argentine accept it. Furthermore, I will cooperate with the FIA and local authorities. Thank you.”
When confronted with allegations of cocaine use, HILLBULLY released a statement:
“Majestic athletic performances have been displayed by athletes under the influence of cocaine but although we represent Colombia, we do not condone the use of Performance Enhancing Substances. However, we feel a same-day DNA result deserves a same-day rehabilitation program. We waved our finger in his face, made him stand on one foot, even had him walk a straight line. All of these tests were passed, Fangio will be racing tomorrow.
At FIA request, the traditional six-day DNA processing period has been expedited to three days, corresponding with the end of the season. If Fangio is indeed smoking that White Girl, he’s gone for good! We want to make it very clear, HILLBULLY HQ is a drug-free zone."
Stay tuned to the NKB (or Telltale) as the story develops!
This has been Bobbert Risk.
