Spanish Racing Series - 20:00 UK Time

Rest in peperoni, f

🏆 El Nano Cup 🏆

🇲🇽 GP México: Volvemos a la copa con unos cuartos de final picantes 🌶️

🌮 Se acabaron las tonterías. Hoy los 4 mejores managers cenarán tacos al pastor.

🇲🇽 Los mariachis ya están preparados.



https://bit.ly/4hfAmF

[hr]

🔵 WILLIAMS RACING

• Your ambition is way scarier than your internet search history.


• Analytical and precise to the point of dangerously bordering on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.


• Your phobia of improvisation means that getting a simple coffee with you requires a 15-day advance notice.


• You never lent your notes to anyone in class, and if forced to, you purposely tore out the last page.


• You are so painfully demanding of yourself that not even you can stand yourself on Sunday afternoons.

🔴 FERRARI

• You go through life acting laid-back, but deep down you get deeply offended if people don't treat you with absolute formality.


• Your screen time is grounds for an urgent psychiatric case study.


• You love order and hierarchy, as long as you're the one giving the damn orders.


• You see qualities in others that nobody else sees (basically because you make them up to avoid dealing with reality).


• That "wild side" of yours usually ends in decisions you deeply regret the next morning.

🟢 CRT COMPETITION

• Your loyalty is so extreme it borders on cult-like: you're either with them or against them.


• If someone messes with your people, you put on a vengeful drama that would make The Godfather look like Peppa Pig.


• Your principles are so firm that you'd rather crash into a concrete wall than back down.


• To you, the Penal Code, traffic signs, and FIA warnings are mere suggestions.


• You are the absolute terror of Human Resources: your file has more warnings than a pack of cigarettes.

🟠 MASÍA iGP RACING TEAM

• You're the classic type who buys rounds of shots at the bar to look rich, even if it means eating plain white rice for the rest of the week.


• You have such a blind, unwavering faith that you systematically ignore the empirical data proving you're about to crash and burn.


• You never lose that diplomatic smile, not even when your ship is sinking on live television.


• "You never give up," which is a polite and corporate way of saying you're the most stubborn person in your zip code.


• Half the town has owed you money for two years because you're way too embarrassed to collect your debts.

🦊 FOXTROT GP

• Your Main Character Syndrome is so severe that you sometimes act in public as if a camera is filming you.


• You are undeniably magnetic, yes, but sometimes you attract problems purely out of morbid curiosity.


• You excuse yourself by saying your sarcasm "has no bad intentions," but you sit back and eat popcorn while watching the WhatsApp group burn.


• Your entire life is a graveyard of brilliant projects you started with immense enthusiasm and left half-finished.


• You live so completely detached from "what people will say" that you walk the very thin line of secondhand embarrassment daily.

🟡 KIMOA RACING F1 TEAM

• You're the one who signs up for all the language exchanges and networking events, even though you end up standing in a corner not talking to anyone.


• You are convinced you were born destined for greatness, but you're still waiting for the universe to send you a confirmation email.


• You go completely unnoticed day-to-day, but magically shine when things hit the fan and you need to save your skin.


• You have an overwhelming personality and a very short fuse: they either love you madly or block you on all social media; you know no middle ground.


• You are always looking for "thrills," which usually translates into making terrible decisions on a Saturday at three in the morning.

🟤 SEGOHISPANIA RACING TEAM

• Your luck is so legendary that the company that hired you went bankrupt the exact same day of your interview (and deep down you suspect it was your fault).


• People usually come to you for life advice, which is fascinating considering your own life is hanging by a thread.


• You live so detached from the real world that your friends sometimes have to pinch you to make sure you haven't turned into a hologram.


• You dream of being the rebel guitarist of a rock band filling stadiums, but you get frustrated trying to tune it and don't even know three chords.


• Your personal motto is "a timely retreat is a victory," which is your elegant way of justifying throwing in the towel at the slightest difficulty.

⚫ CAMPOS RACING F1

• Excel isn't just your best friend; it's probably the most stable, intimate, and passionate relationship you've had in years.


• You play the "friend to everyone" and the coolest guy in the group, but deep down it's because you wouldn't take a stand even if your life depended on it, just to avoid offending anyone.


• Stepping out of your comfort zone causes you so much physical terror that you need to mentally prepare for a whole week just to have dinner at a new place.


• You have a drawer full of VGA cables, adapters, and chargers from 2008 "just in case," and you defend that useless tangled mess as if it were your pension plan.


• Deep down, you consider yourself the life of the party... or at least that's what you think when your craziest antic of the month is ordering a second shot and heading home at 1:30 am.

🤣🤣 I must say kimoa-campos

🇲🇽 GP México 

Okei

Cositas del GP Azerbaiyán

🏆 Vuelve el Nano Cup 🏆

🇫🇷 GP Francia. Semifinales.

🥐 Los 4 mejores de la copa se lo juegan todo hoy.

🥖 Solo pueden quedar 2.








🇫🇷 GP Francia:
- ¡Sergio Ruiz ganador de la T40 de la SRS!
- ¡Primer podio en la SRS de Bongain y de Nykiba! Campos y Foxtrot dando la cara a final de temporada.
- Kimoa Party. Buenos puntos con las Qualy de Chema Burgués y André y la P4 remontando de Valdi.
- 30 Online en carrera.
- Bruno y FabMan se disputarán la final de El Nano Cup.
- Nacho Peska: ''Vengo a retirarme a la SRS''.
- "I WILL RETIRE FROM CAPTAIN , BUT NOT YET" - Antonio Pinillos

🇦🇪 GP Abu Dhabi:

- Bruno Rodriguez se lleva la victoria del GP y de El Nano Cup 🥇
- La mejor carrera de Kimoa de la temporada. Con estrategias diferentes se meten los 3 en el TOP 7.
- Lo intentó Fab Man hasta el final quedando en una meritoria P4 con 2 pits.
- Gran P7 de Chema Burgués.
- Williams son los más regulares y son los campeones por equipos.
- CRT cumple con los sólidos Andrey y Lorena y se aseguran el subcampeonato.
- Ferrari 3º pero de más a menos. Un poco más y les pega Kimoa el sorpasso.
- Carrera para olvidar de Antonio Pinillos. GP2 engine.
- Vasvo acusa a CRT de garrapatas.
- 28 Online en la última de la temporada.
- ¡Nos vemos en la T41!

🏁 I. THE DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Sergio Ruiz Furious, champion (808 pts). Eight wins, eleven podiums, four poles, and an outrageous lead over second place. It's his second title after his heroic fight against the paladins in S36. He no longer chases the crown; he has it rented out like a summer beach house, since he won't be around to defend it.

Fab Man, runner-up (729 pts). Five wins, twelve podiums, and the Qualy championship with 146 points. He was the king of Saturday and the runner-up on Sunday. There are races won with a stopwatch and titles lost with a calendar.

Bruno Rodríguez, bronze (673 pts). Four wins, ten podiums, and 147 positions gained. He starts from the back with a blockbuster calling, and at the end of the year, he takes the cup. A promising start for the recent Intercontinental three-time champion.

The great distribution. There were seven different winners: Ruiz, Fab Man, Bruno, Vasvo Lao (2), Romus Toras, Andrey (Юрий Клинских), and André Prov (1 each). Lorena Portillo (4th, 561 pts) finished without a win, but with four podiums—being the second woman after Giacomina Leclerc to step on the podium—and an undisputed seat at the grown-ups' table. Andrey (6th) was the biggest climber of the year, with 168 positions gained and an adaptation to the league that has surprised everyone. Vasvo Lao was 3rd in Qualy (91 pts) and 10th in the championship: Saturday loves him more than Sunday, but Saturdays wanted the team crown.

The midfield pack. Calvo (11th), Nykiba (12th), Rui (13th), and Iceman (14th) led the middle class. The heir to Álvaro Molinelli's empire (Rui), the rebellious Sabassi, and Dionysis Kalamakis share the lead for fastest laps with three each. All three prove that the stopwatch doesn't look at the standings.

The substitutes and the absentees:

• Molinelli, S39 champion, appeared in four races (two without a setup) and left with 0 points. The shortest reign in history.


• Cesar García Roco (2 races), Marco Rodriguez (retiring from iGP), Di Meglio (Mr. Fines), and Greniuk (after writing The Holy Bible) left their cars mid-season.


• Nacho Peska, Dionysis Kalamakis, Ramonet Triki Trake, Tony Crowther, and Liandro Fernández joined mid-year. Dionysis and Ramonet stayed until the checkered flag, and Liandro signed a debut without a setup. Arriving late is still arriving.


• Aimar Pedreira and Lara Williams closed with 0 points, but they closed with dignity, which is why they have the Editorial Staff's respect.

🏭 II. THE WAR OF THE CONSTRUCTORS

Constructor points = overall + Qualy.

🥇 Williams Racing, 1937 pts: Champion (their first title in history)

• The Plot: The "Fab Four" from Grove traded their impact wrenches for electric guitars. With €105.11M of their €110.77M spent in the market, they put together a superband that never let go of the number one spot.


• The Verdict: Fab Man (875), Alan Campos (535), and Vasvo Lao (527) gave a masterclass in depth. Aimar remained on the drums, without tuning a single note. They won by 504 points.


• 🚩 The Emperor of OCD: Analytical, obsessive, with no possible improvisation. Result: 1937 points and not a single borrowed note.

🥈 CRT Competition, 1433 pts

• The Plot: A Cold War thriller featuring the debt collector. Lorena (617) and Andrey (548) are the elite agents, with Iceman (265) as the eternal captain.


• The Verdict: Runner-up with military consistency. Di Meglio left 3 points and €2.4M in fines for not changing the logo or color. He left the league, but the bill stayed in the garage. Despite having to rebuild the team and the fines, CRT continues to prove it's one of the best iGP schools in the entire world.


• 🚩 The HR Nightmare: To them, FIA warnings are mere suggestions. Their file already weighs more than a pack of cigarettes.

🥉 Ferrari, 1326 pts

• The Plot: A monastic order of a single prophet. Ruiz contributed a huge chunk of the team's points. Rui Acacio, Guevara, and Sabassi took a vow of silence (well, maybe not Sabassi).


• The Verdict: The best driver in the league and only the third-best team. And they closed with €22.42M unspent, the second-largest reserve in the championship. Rui has a very big hole to fill after inheriting one of the most iconic teams in iGP Manager, but his deep pockets will help.


• 🚩 The White-Collar Drama: Order and hierarchy, as long as one person is in charge. Ruiz gives the orders and the points obey.

4º Kimoa Racing F1 Team, 1239 pts

• The Plot: The gentlemen's Sunday domino club. Without making a fuss, with André Prov (569) and Valdi CT (458) taking care of the rubber like porcelain.


• The Verdict: Midway through the year, they were a breath away from bronze. In the end, they fell short because Chema (193) and Headley (19) couldn't complete the assault. Too many hares in The Turtle's team.


• 🚩 The Silent Ticking Time Bomb: They go unnoticed until things hit the fan. This time, the fuse was long.

5º SegoHispania Racing Team, 963 pts

• The Plot: The flash sale of the century. Marco Rodriguez sold to Titán Investment Agency and turned off his phone. The Persian rugs arrived, but the downforce didn't.


• The Verdict: Bruno carried almost the entire weight of the team and brought it up from 7th to 5th place since mid-season. A lone Titan with views of the sultanate captained by Aimar.


• 🚩 The Human Hologram: "A timely retreat is a victory." Marco must have thought something along those lines as he slipped out the back door...

6º Masía iGP Racing Team, 841 pts

• The Plot: FC Barcelona-style financial engineering. They mortgaged rights and took out loans to sweep the auction. Greniuk cost €45.13M and left halfway through the term with 158 points.


• The Verdict: Romus (645) led, but the 5th place from mid-year vanished. They closed with €128.74M spent, €1.41M left over, and €1.3M in sanctions. Goldman Sachs was right, but Antonio Pinillos' courage in his first 2D season earned him Red Bull's endorsement.


• 🚩 The Broke Optimist: Buys rounds of drinks to look rich and eats plain white rice all week.

7º Foxtrot GP, 698 pts

• The Plot: Moneyball with the lowest starting budget of the established teams. An ensemble cast between Nykiba (305), Calvo (310), Juan García (90), and Maidana.


• The Verdict: No one shone too brightly, no one fell off, and the grid respected them. Let's hope next season they focus more on the KERS than on YouTube.


• 🚩 The Psychological Terrorist: They eat popcorn while the chat burns, but they spent the season with the engine running.

8º Campos Racing F1, 486 pts

• The Plot: The most successful team in history (seven titles) finishes S40 like a sunken ocean liner with a full safe and a single podium. Cesar García, signed for €25M, got mad, held his breath, and is no longer inviting you to his birthday.


• The Verdict: €29.54M unspent, the biggest reserve on the grid, and dead last. Ezpeleta (185), Bongain (108), and Ortiz (95) bailed water. They need a revolution to climb the standings.


• 🚩 The Digital Retiree: Excel is the most stable relationship in their life, and this time it did them no good.

🏆 III. THE NANO CUP, FIRST EDITION

Bruno Rodríguez, first champion. After taking bronze in the World Championship, he gets his revenge in a head-to-head where comebacks finally count.

The league. Ruiz finished as the leader with 84 points and 11 wins. Bruno (79) and Romus (77) completed the podium. Andrey (73) was 4th and the tournament's biggest climber with 11 positions. Lorena also scored 73 points and 10 wins, finishing 5th.

The man who owes Ruiz one. Ruiz's only defeat in the league was against Fab Man (matchday 2, Australia). He beat him again in the semifinals. Fab Man arrived 7th in the standings and took out Romus and Ruiz.

The playoffs. Lorena and André Prov passed without a scare. Fab Man eliminated Rui. Nykiba, 9th, knocked out Valdi CT, and bowed out in the quarterfinals against Andrey.

Quarterfinals and semifinals. Ruiz advanced past Lorena, Bruno past André, and in the semifinals, Bruno swept Andrey. The final was the historic Bruno vs. Fab Man.

For the memory. Valdi CT (12 FLs) and Rui (10) were the absolute kings of the stopwatch. Fab Man achieved 11 best qualys. Greniuk, Di Meglio, Marco, and Molinelli left before the end, and Molinelli closed with 0 wins in the entire tournament.

🚩 EDITORIAL

At the start of the year, the teams received a psychological diagnosis. At the end of it, the standings confirm that almost everyone was right. Williams is the Emperor of OCD, Campos the Digital Retiree, and Masía the Broke Optimist. As for the Zetta Racing that didn't race, only the usual remains: they disappear from WhatsApp for months and return when they are needed, just like La Gacela Del Deporte.

🇨🇦 GP Canadá:

- Victoria de André Prov. Puño sobre la mesa de Tortuga. Sexo es vida.
- "Its a trap! Kers!". Carrerón de Andrey, que animaba a sus compañeros en carrera. De P29 a P2.
- No le sale a CRT el salir con SS. Lo mejor una P14.
- Tampoco a Campos salir con H, el único Andrey.
- Gran P12 de Rubén Ramirez y buenos puntos Kimoa hoy.
- Buenas P4-P6 de Foxtrot GP.
- Ningún Williams en Top10.
- ¿Garrapatas? ¿Puntos ahorrados? Vasvo siembra la duda.

🇲🇾 GP Malasia:

- Primera victoria de Salinas en la SRS!!! Desde la P21 le ganó la espalda a FabMan y sube bastante en la general.
- Buen podio de Nacho Peska.
- Solo Bruno destaca en Titan F1. Y solo FabMan en Ferrari.
- Solidez Kimoa. P6-P7-P8.
- Se le ven las grietas a Williams. Otra carrera sin Top10.
- Alan y Guevara sin gasolina. ¿Influyó Guevara en algún DRS?
- Jabato Ruben Ramirez P16 con la peor cuenta de la liga.
- CRT para olvidar. No pasan de P23.
- 30 ON.

[hr]

Antonio: Today we want to welcome Valdi to our interview show: driver, league admin, creator of the Nano Cup, author of the current race headlines, and captain of Kimoa Racing F1 Team in our beloved SRS. A true Capo, basically.
Valdi: No kiddinggg.
Antonio: As you know after watching the first episode, this show has three sections: championship, gossip (Sálvame), and humor.
Antonio: Ping.
Valdi: Pong.
Antonio: Clown.
Valdi: Proud to be part of this circus called SRS.
Antonio: Well, let's start with the championship section. This season is going really well for you, what do you think of your current performance?
Valdi: Well... I'm 3rd in the championship, but Mariño and Bruno are just 1 point behind and they'll end up overtaking me... the level is super high in this SRS, the best league in iGP. The tyre stock system is creating a lot of strategy variety, and it's nice not seeing everyone start on the exact same compound all the time. Seeing how things are going and what's left, the goal is an individual Top 5.

Antonio: Kimoa is looking like a very solid team and you are in the fight for the Constructors' title against Williams. Do you think you can beat them and take the crown?
Valdi: That's the goal. I didn't expect to be fighting for the title at this stage. André, Mariño, and I have won races and we are consistent, which shows—although André hasn't been at his absolute sharpest this season and I hope he takes a step forward. I'm also happy with Rubén, contributing everything he can with the worst account in the league. Williams has 3 beasts, it's going to be tight until the very end.
Antonio: Tell us a bit about your great invention, the Nano Cup.
Valdi: El Nano Cup is a cup where I gathered ideas from here and there, plus some of my own making. I think it's fun, and in the long run, it shows who the best managers are since there are so many variables to score points. This season brings the novelty that for every point scored, the manager earns money for their team's budget. And I'm going to drop an exclusive: El Nano Cup won't return for Avengers Doomsday. It will take a break next season. But we are already working on another cup format to keep things fresh and new. El Nano Cup is all of us.
Antonio: Well, we close this section with a massive announcement.

[hr]
🔥 SÁLVAME SECTION

Antonio: Now we begin with the section that gives this show its name: SÁLVAME.
Valdi: Ready.
Antonio: Valdi, is this your real name or just your racing name?
Valdi: Let's say it's a mix. That's the name of my main iGP account.
Antonio: And can we know what your real name is?
Valdi: Santi. Hit me.
Antonio: Alrighttt, let's continue with SÁLVAME.
Antonio: What do you have to say about the wave of hate that has been falling on the SRS in recent weeks coming from other leagues and even from managers within the SRS itself?
Valdi: Nothing. We shouldn't give it any importance. The SRS is above people who don't want to be here or who criticize the league. The SRS is made by all of us, but you have to know how to behave like a normal person within healthy banter and humor.
Antonio: If you had to step into the ring at Ibai Llanos's "La Velada del Año" boxing event, who would you fight?
Valdi: From the iGP world?
Antonio: Yes.
Valdi: The question is... who would want to fight me? I'm not afraid of anyone. I don't have bad blood with anyone either, just healthy rivalries inside a game.
Antonio: But if you had to pick one, who would it be?
Valdi: CRT's captain, Alexis.
Antonio: If you had to share an apartment, which three SRS managers would you live with?
Valdi: With Cristian Ezpeleta, who would surely keep the apartment tidy; with Edu Calvo, who would pour me a glass of wine for every Real Madrid match; and with Lorena Portillo, who brings life to the flat. Not with André, because he'd make way too much noise with all the ladies he'd bring over...

[hr]
🤡 HUMOR SECTION

Antonio: Sadly, we have reached the end of the show with the final section: humor.
Antonio: Valdi has to tell us his best joke.
Valdi: Here goes the joke. A guy walks into a bar and says: "I have 3 Inter championships, I'm the best and everyone else is a nobody," and the whole bar laughs at him and kicks him out.
Antonio: Hahahaha, brilliant, and with a little jab at someone from what I can tell! Well, I'm going to tell one myself.
Antonio: —Hello, is this the clay pigeon shooting course?
—Yes, let me shoot your name down on the list.
—No way, shoot at the clay pigeon, you maniac!
Valdi: Hahaha.
Antonio: Well, that's a wrap, see you bright and early tomorrow xd.
Antonio: A pleasure having you on this set, and we'll see you in the next interview.

[hr]

🏎️ CHAMPIONSHIP SECTION

Antonio: Good morning everyone, this week we are starting this show with a great guest, Aimar, captain and founder of Titan F1 Team.

Antonio: Pin.


Antonio: Shoe.


Antonio: Very good Aimar, let's start talking about the championship.

Antonio: How are you experiencing this debut season?


Antonio: We are seeing that it's costing you this season to keep up with the rest of the teams. What would you say is your goal for next season?


Antonio: Is it true that Bruno, your best racer, is leaving?


Antonio: I give you permission to send him a farewell on this show, the mic is all yours.


Antonio: Well Aimar, tell us a bit about your season in the drivers' championship.


Antonio: What goal do you set for yourself for next season?


Antonio: Well, let's close this section and start the one that gives this show its name: SALVAME.

[hr]

🔥 SALVAME SECTION

Antonio: Aimar, you are known for being an exemplary manager, never using bad words and keeping it clean on track. Will we continue to see this version of you, or do you have a more rebellious side stored away?


Antonio: Imagine you are fighting for a championship against a teammate. Would you be capable of causing bad vibes and going all out to beat him, or would you put the team first and secure second place?


Antonio: Right, right. Could you tell us something good and something bad about each teammate?


Antonio: Come on, take a stand a bit.


Antonio: Anything to say about Bongain and Dionysis?


Antonio: Wow.

Antonio: Well, since you mentioned you plan to overhaul the entire team, meaning you won't retain anyone, do you have any names in mind for the next transfer market?


Antonio: Would you dare to reveal any of them in advance?


Antonio: Very well. Regrettably, our time is up, and we've reached the final section: the humor section.

[hr]

🤡 HUMOR SECTION

Antonio: Aimar will now delight us with his best joke.


Antonio: Well, I'll join in and tell one too.

Antonio: How do chemistry engineers say goodbye? — "Ácido un placer" (Acid a pleasure / It's been a pleasure).

Antonio: And with that we close today's show! Thank you so much Aimar for your time and collaboration. See you next time, bye!

[hr]

[hr]

🏁 CHAMPIONSHIP SECTION: "IF I PLAYED SERIOUSLY, IT WOULD BE OVER BY NOW"

[The studio door flies open with a kick. Mariño walks in wearing sunglasses, throws his Kimoa jacket on the floor, and sits across from Antonio, who gulps while checking the show's life insurance policy].

Antonio: Hello dear viewers! Today we have the great honor of welcoming Don Pablo Mariño to the show, current title contender in our beloved SRS and driver for Kimoa Racing F1 Team. Let's start with the quick word association... Ping!
Pablo Mariño: Pong.
Antonio: Frog.
Pablo Mariño: I'm [BLEEP - CENSORED BY BROADCAST STANDARDS].

[Sparks fly in the control room. The sound intern spills hot coffee all over the mixing console].

Antonio: Uh... well Mariño, a pleasure to have you here. How do you feel being so close to the title with only 2 races left?
Pablo Mariño: I am very calm and confident that I will win the title. Despite saving over 150 research points during the first week, I got very good results with an inferior car. Sadly, in the second week I had connection issues mid-race and disconnected halfway through three races where scoring some points would have come in handy seeing how tight the championship is right now. I had no expectations of fighting for the title, yet I closed a 150-point gap just playing casually until I saw I had a real shot. If I had taken this seriously from the start, there wouldn't be a title fight—it would have been decided with three races to spare.

Antonio: You are 28 points behind the leader Romus and 11 behind second-placed Fab Man. Do you have a plan to close that gap and claim the coveted SRS crown?
Pablo Mariño: I have my resources. I can tell you right now that Mr. "Fabada Man" has zero chance; the real enemy is Mr. Romus Toras, but I'll let history speak for itself. I know how to move very smoothly in Turkey and Brazil, and I have the tyre advantage, even if some people think otherwise. Although I must add: even if I win both races, the championship will depend on Romus messing up a little.

Antonio: Valdi told us he didn't expect to see the team doing so well, let alone fighting for the Constructors' title. Are you confident you guys can pull it off?
Pablo Mariño: [Slams his fist on the desk] I hope you put this in the article completely unfiltered: everything will depend on little Mr. Turtle (André Prov). If he blows all his KERS on lap 5 we are done for; he is a very bipolar manager. I will do my part and I'm sure Valdi will too. Racing alongside the Turtle is playing the lottery, basically. It all depends on which side of the bed he woke up on.

Antonio: Well, we know this season has two very different possible endings. How will you approach next season if you have to defend the title versus going for revenge?
Pablo Mariño: Since an iGP update is coming soon that will affect how the game works, expecting a proper season is unrealistic. Therefore, I will have to wait two or three months before racing again, once the game has stabilized. We have plenty of precedents of how updates ruin the smooth development and competitiveness of seasons.
Antonio: Are you announcing your temporary retirement right now?
Pablo Mariño: Just like last year in iGP when updates hit, it's better to step away from the game for a while and wait, rather than losing your temper over a malfunctioning game, unpolished mechanics, and server crashes.

[hr]
🔥 SÁLVAME SECTION: HEARTBREAK, LUBRICANT & GUNPOWDER

Antonio: Alright, let's switch to the section that gives this show its name: SÁLVAME. Mariño, let's play "Marry, Kill, or Wild Night" with all the drivers from this season. Go ahead!
Pablo Mariño: What do you want the headline to say, that I want to have a wild night with Edu Calvo and kill the Turtle? xdd. That's all I have to say, nothing to add.

Antonio: Well, Edu told us that from his team he would marry "El Profe" Núñez and have a wild night with Fragoso, and for a desert island adventure he picked me. Do you feel betrayed by Edu?
Pablo Mariño: [A vein pops on his forehead as the sound engineer panics] Eduardo Calvo takes every single opportunity to let me down, it gives him a dopamine rush, and it gives me an even bigger one being left watching from the corner chair. Thinking about Edu getting all cozy in the pit box with El Profe is both fascinating and disheartening... personally, just picturing it gets me way too excited [BLEEP - CENSORED FOR FAMILY AUDIENCES].

Antonio: In that same vein, Edu refused to spend all his budget to sign you in the auction. Do you think he made a mistake?
Pablo Mariño: Just look at the Drivers' standings. It's crystal clear. He preferred to blow Foxtrot's budget on wild parties rather than signing a wild diva like me for his team. I hope he wallows in his misery.

Antonio: [Wipes sweat from his forehead with the cue cards] If you had to go to a desert island with three managers from the league, who would they be? And what three items would you bring?
Pablo Mariño: Edu Calvo, Salinas, and the Turtle. The items? Lubricant, a blanket, and a pistol.

[Dead silence in the studio. Nobody dares to ask which item is meant for whom].

Antonio: Do you have anything to add about the administration and how they run the league?
Pablo Mariño: Ban driver swaps for favorite tracks. And no more than 20 races. Leaving Italy out of the calendar.
Antonio: Rumor has it that the SRS is a league where you can't even say "clown" and that it's full of bots. What do you say to that?
Pablo Mariño: Of course you can't insult people; Mr. Bruno is a rude and impulsive manager. Everything is in the rulebook.
Antonio: And what about the expelled Nacho Peska?
Pablo Mariño: Justice will be served. Peska brought a lot of life to the league. Since he left, the SRS isn't the same.
Antonio: I think we covered everything, if you want to add anything else you have the floor.
Pablo Mariño: Nothing else.

[hr]
🤡 HUMOR SECTION: "THE JOKE IS THAT THERE IS NO JOKE"

Antonio: With that we move to the final section of the show: humor. Mariño has to tell us a little joke.
Pablo Mariño: [Ice-cold stare] Tough. I don't do that stuff. The joke is that there is no joke. Next.
Antonio: Oh, okay... well then I have to tell a double joke to save the segment!
What does one jaguar say to another jaguar? —"Jaguar you!" (How are you).
And why was the math book so sad? —Because it had too many problems!
Pablo Mariño: Antonio, you [BLEEP]. Seriousness, please.

Antonio: Well, it's time to say goodbye to Mariño and wish him a great end to the season and lots of luck...
Pablo Mariño: [Stands up yanking the lapel mic off and dropping it on the desk] Some people have wished me luck. I thank them. But I don't need it.

[Mariño storms out of the studio slamming the door so hard the Sálvame SRS neon sign falls off the wall].

Antonio: Well, with that... see you next week, be gooooood!